When you promised you wouldn't lie, not even about any tiny little things.

I took your words for it.

But it turns out, you keep lying, no doubts is only tiny little things.

You get it through when is tiny little lies, then a slightly bigger lie, then a even bigger lie...

You will just always be lying.

Yes some things are hard to tell, but it doesn't mean that you have to lie.

I am done with that, i don't need lies.

I want to move on.

I told you from the beginning.

let your beauty unfold

I know you’re somewhere out there, somewhere far away.

To know me deep inside, hear every thought; see every dream.

Give me wings when I want to fly.

Give me some faith, hold me tight.

A little tenderness, treat me right.

When it gets dark and when it gets cold; with you is where I’d rather be.

I will find you one day.

At night when the stars light up my room, I’m looking for something dumb to do.

There’s only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time.

I’m running out of things to do, to get things off my mind.

It’s hard, it’s so hard.

It's not simple

It’s not that simple, to find a companion to converse with,

Especially after you have seen so much betrayal.

It’s not that simple, to be able to love.

Don’t like loneliness, but it becomes a habit.

take it

People betray people lie; people back-stab people has two faced.

I am sick of all this.

If I shut you out, that's who I have chose to become.

Take it.

start again

This is not the end, this is not the beginning.

Wishing I had strength to stand. It’s out of my control.

Flying at the speed of light.

So many things left unsaid, it’s hard to let go.

All I want to do is trade this life for something new.

Holding on to what I haven’t got.

I thought it felt right but that right was wrong.

All caught up in the eye of the storm.

Trying to figure out what it’s like for you moving on,

And I don’t even know what kind of things I’ve said.

My mouth keeps moving and my mind went dead,

So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?

The hardest part of ending is starting again.

):

I am confused.

Can I go away for a moment?

I am so confused...

Sorry, I couldn't make it.

I just can't feel it.

I have a heart of a stone.

Sorry I gotta do this to you.

I just can't feel it.

I am sorry.

I don't know

What am I in ten years?

What should I do as a career?

What is my life by then?

Tell me.

As I have no idea.

In my mind, it doesn’t matter what I do what is my career.

As long as, I m successful.

But it seems that, it not as easy as I think.

I have to make a choice.

Which I really have no idea.

I don’t know.

What am I good at?

I don’t know.

What am I interested in?

I don’t know.

What I would like to do?

I don’t know.

Yea. I don’t know.

SHOOT ME!!

Boredom triggers this

Someone once told me, there is a difference between

‘I miss you’ and ‘miss you’

‘I love you’ and love you’

Someone once told me, the relationship of 2 people above friend and below couple is most interesting and excited.

Someone once told me, being in a relationship diverge your concentration.

Someone once told me, a zealous kiss on the forehead shoo away nightmares.

Random post, because I am bored.

Believe

For a lot of things, we think but never really do it.

For a lot of things, we think but never really speak out.

Words are easy to say; promises are easy to make.

But somehow, taking actions are the tough part.

We have doubts.

We doubt ourselves, we doubt our decisions,

We doubt; we hold back.

We doubt; we stay put.

Think.

When we were still a kid, everything is possible.

You put blanket over your back, and then you become a superman.

You climb up a tree, not knowing that you might fall, you simply made it.

You just had an idea ad made it happened, because you believe.

As you grow up, things seem to be a little different.

You doubt, you don’t take action.

It is never too late, you just need to have an idea and make it happen.

You can, if you believe.

Live without regrets, just do it! Make it happen.

Take note when your heart speaks.

Believe.

We just have to believe.

I dare not

I dare not say I will make you’ll proud one day.

But surely l will try.

I dare not fought you or go against you.

But surely I will not follow blindly.

Once fail does not meant forever,

Perhaps is a detour; a turn-over.

Give me a chance. Allow me.

To show; to prove.

I dare not promised you I will be something someday.

But surely I will try.

Somehow; somewhat.

One way or another.

I will try.

I am sorry.

I can't find the crack

I’ve come to my senses.

You said I’ve gone mad.

Have you ever think of my situation?

If I had set myself and push myself to do it,

Why don’t you allow me trying?

I’ve told you more than a million times.

It strikes my heart, every single time you said that to me.

I can’t find that crack.

I don’t understand.

I don’t know how.

I don’t know why.

Tell me what you want. Tell me what I want.

Is my dream, is something that follows me for a long time. In fact, till my death.

I could go on no more.

Not without knowing which is my way out.

Show me. Tell me.

I’ve been turning around the same bush for a long time.

I can’t find that crack.

Or maybe, I can’t find yours.

Kiss me on my forehead.

Is obvious and you think you can bring it through

Is obvious and you think I will not realized

Sorry, I got cha.

Fuck you.

Best aunty

I have the best aunt ever.

She is so outstanding that one billions words can’t explained.

Not to mention that we are not blood related.

I just can’t put in plain words how great she is and how much I treasure her.

You are awesome!

Will you?

Come down, go high up.

Just to find me, fall with me.

I’ll fall, if you say fall.

Mile high dive words get lost full speed.

Crash land, as hard as we can.

No, I’m not afraid of hitting the ground.

Sky dive with me, will you?

Jump off the plane at 15,000 feet.

Count to three, draw a breath, jump!

Spinning into the blue, the plane growing smaller and smaller with the sun behind it.

Lighthing up, we’re flying!

Again,

Jump with me, into the air, feel the thril; the freedom; soar through the clouds.

Sky dive with me, will you?

Stop

I just want to go away.

Away from this place.

Away from everything.

Away from your gobbledygook.

Away from your unreasonable.

Away from your irritation.

Leave me alone.

Stop the gibberish.

Meeney Miney

Life was so much easier when our worries were when recess was too short;

Decisions were solved by eeni meeney miney mo;

Only skinned knees brought tears;

Boys were yucky and goodbyes meant tomorrow.

Fly

You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth

Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way.

Those are the risks.

In the darkest moment before dawn, a woman returns to her bed. What life is she living? Is it the same life she live an hour ago; a day ago; or a year ago?

The thought of losing so much control of a person’s happiness, is unbaredable.

That’s the burden.

Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us.

Burden that allow us to fly.

Every now and then I fall apart.

Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream.

Every now and then I get a little tired and I fume.

Every now and then I get a little confuse and I lost.

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

But I know one day I will find my way.

I hold on a little faith.

Sometimes

Sometimes, something somehow is just not easy.

Something somehow is just not meant to be.

Something somehow is just not as what you think.

By hook or by cook, is just not.

Sometimes, I just want to run away.

Flirt

We are not even close,

One touch gives you chills.

I got you spinning.

I got you crazy.

I got you spinning out like crazy.

There goes.

We both knew it exist, somewhere in the air.

Catch it; catch me.

Adorable.

Feelings

You may close your eyes to the things you do not wish to see;

But you can’t close your heart to the feelings you do not wish to felt.

Run your fingers through my soul,

For once, feel exactly how I felt, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive.

Look, experience and for once, just once, understand.

Thoughts are shadows of feelings, always darker, emptier and simpler.

The feeling of going away from home, that which all of us felt.

How many times I have to go through this.

Again and again, on and on and on.

Feelings are not supposed to be logical.

Feelings are everywhere, be gentle.

Of all the earthly music, that which reaches into heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart.

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Magic

I used to dream,

In my dream,

I had a magic wand,

It,

Slow down moments.

Or somehow,

It,

Pause.

Respite!

Reprieve!

Or maybe,

It,

Rewind!

Come again!

How much I wish,

I had a magic wand,

In my life.

But it was,

Just another,

sweet dream.

Keep Going

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;

When you funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit;

Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with twist and turns;

As every one of us sometimes learn;

Stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit;

It’s when things go wrong that you must not quit.

We will either find a way or make one.

Things will happen in life that we can’t stop, but that’s not reason to shut out the world.

Is for you.

Some just fail to understand simple respect.

I’ve just got to let you know.

I don’t buy this anymore, back off.

I don’t live to wait for you all the time and I don’t need to give in when is my call.

I’ve just got to let you know.

Worn out

I am worn out. It feels like I’m spaced out.

I need to slow down but I did not swift.

I must be sleep-walking.

I am worn out!

I need the time to stop so I could put my feet up.

I need the time to stop so I could have forty winks.

I could not take this any longer, I am worn out.

It hurts,

All over me.

I am worn out!

Leave

Here is where I lay my thoughts; where my heart speaks and where my mind talks.

I need not to explain what and why all this is here.

Get this and get lost.

Defying gravity

Too late for second guessing; too late to go back to sleep.

It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap!

It’s time to try, defying gravity.

I think I’ll try, defying gravity.

Kiss me goodbye, defying gravity.

And you won’t bring me down.

I’m through accepting limits, because someone says they’re so

Some things I cannot change, but I’ll try, I’ll never know.

Too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost.

Well, if that’s love, it comes at much too high a cost!

I’d sooner buy, defying gravity.

It’s time to try, defying gravity.

I think I’ll try, defying gravity.

And you won’t bring me down.

Everybody, let's see.
Is time to pull you down to hell.

I hold em'

Listen,

Let go your attachment to being right, don't crippled by your own judgement.

You don't judge me as you not know me.

Whatever Befalls

I hold it true, whatever befalls; I feel it, when I sorrow the most.

I have wished to understand the hearts of people.

I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,

But always pity brought me back to earth;

Cries of pain reverberated in my heart

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

This has been my life, I found it worth living.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to break down and a time to build up;

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.

Life is a quest.

I hold it true, whatever befalls.

Heartbreaking

Father, look at me please.

Is heartbreaking, for always being the last for everything, every time.

I never expect anything more, but I really can bear no more.

I cried a tear, I was confused.

Please give me the strength, to stand alone again. To face the world, out on my own again.

I needed it, so much. And I can’t believe it’s true. I needed it.

I’ll never live what should I feel, and I never find someone who really care.

Please held my hand, when is cold; when I am lost.

Please take me home and give me love, when I am empty; and turn my light back into truth again.

Tell me now, how do I…..

Dream

Dream,

I want to travel around the world, to see every corner.

I want to look at the same sky from different places.

I want to meet all people with different cultures and different background.

Dream,

I want to jump off from the world tallest bungee jump in Macau.

I want to ride the world toughest rodeo.

I want to witness the world heritage.

The rainforest, the desert, the cave and etc.

I want to taste all food along the way.

I want to take millions of photos wherever I go.

Everything everywhere.

My first trip outside of Malaysia was in 1997, I went to Beijing, China to see the Great Wall of China. Followed by Pattaya and Phuket, Thailand; Batam, Indonesia. Then I’ve been to London, too see the tower of London, eye of London, and the big Ben. I’ve been to Glasgow, Scotland for the third time. I’ve visited Melbourne, Australia, the Great Ocean Road and the Philip Island. Recently I’ve visited Hong Kong and Macau.

Dream.

Unspoken words

Today’s sky seems too blue, clouds seem too white and the sun seems too bright.

When I smile to you, it doesn’t mean that I am all fine.

I pick it up after dropping it down, I drop it down after picking it up, and then I pick it up again.

I restore it after deleting it, I delete it after restoring it, and then I restore it again.

My world, you don’t bother; your world, I am not allowed. But somehow, I am still holding a hope.

I am holding a dream, since ever; till ever.

I am afraid of the answer therefore I am afraid to ask.

I am afraid of the fact therefore I am afraid to stop running.

How I wish you could know, there is so much words left unspoken,

How I wish you could know, there is so much more left undone.

How I wish you could know.

How I wish you could……

Listen

Put my ear down close to my soul and listen hard.

When I do things from my soul I feel a river moving in me, a joy. When action come from another section, the feeling disappear. Upturned towards the sun, eyes closed. That color and warmth I see and feel is the soul on fire. If only it remained when again my eyes opened. Soul shadows us everywhere; soul is a force that light up a town.

Worry ducks when purpose flies overhead.

Empty, strike out across the field.

Comfort, leave me behind.

Pressure and tired knock on my door.

I am searching, discovering the wonderful.

Patience. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in my heart. What I am running from, to and why. I shall not seek for the answer which cannot be given me because I would not be able to live them. Perhaps, I might find them gradually without noticing it and live along some distant day into the answer.

I wish to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I am afraid of thinking. But when your heart speak and whisper, do take good notes.

Time doesn't stop for anyone, and we move on as seconds passes by.

If you aren’t sure what you’re doing, you might as well work on what you want to do.

I wish I could be closer, to the sky with twinkling stars.

I wish I could live in the room where I awake to the crack of dawn, the balcony where I can witness the nightfall.

I wish I could walk with my dear one along the beach, the fine sand the sea breeze the crystal clear sea.

I wish i could go around the world with my sweetheart to witness all the wonderful scenery.

I wish I could sit by the bay leaning on my dearest's chest.

I wish I could have my loved one by my side to hold me tight; to pampered me; to walk with me; to stay with me; to love and care for me.

Sometime somewhere somehow, I need a shoulder.

Adorable.

We are unique

I’m still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be, for I have also learned from experience that that greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances.

I shall not let all things bother me. I should be grateful to those who have denounced me, for they have increased my wisdom and concentration. I should be grateful to those who have made me stumble, for they have strengthened my ability. I should be grateful to those who have abandoned me, for they have taught me to be independent. I should be grateful to those who have deceived me, for they have deepened my insight. I should also be grateful to those who have hurt me, for they have reinforced my determination.

In life, people comes and go, those who doesn’t stay are those who does not matter and those who stay are those we should appreciate. Things happen for a reason, may I have the wisdom to face the reality and accept the true nature of things. I shall not play the blame game and I shall not whine, things happen for a reason. Is never the loss that counts, is always the gain that matters.

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us but not drown us. I was always looking outside myself for strength and confident, but it comes from within, it is there all the time.

The bird of paradise alights only upon hand that does not grasp. When things don’t seem to go right, there is always another way. Like a blanket to short, you pull it up and your toes rebel. You yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder, but cheerful folks draw their knees up and pass a comfortable night. A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles then any wonder drug.

May this be a reminder to me and to those who in need. Take each step forward as a challenge, let in the good times and get through the bad. Believe in yourself that you are full of untapped potential. We are unique.

friends..

My sister and I at the airport sending my dad off to Singapore. Melisa, Fi and I at bangsar village after chemistry unit1 paper. Furball, Fi and I at nasi lemak antarabangsa.

♥ wish i could keep that much longer ♥

silly but make us smile and stay

As sweet and musical, when love speaks, makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
The memories gather like drifting snow.
It was a durable fire, ever burning in the mind, never sick never old never dead.
It enables us to put the deepest feelings and fears in the palm of each other’s hand.
Little by little, like dew that falls on both nettles and lilies.
The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Those days, were silly but it make us smile and stay.
We are not the same person this year as last.
Some might think holding on make us stronger, but sometimes it is letting go that make life better.
I once don’t want to say goodbye, you’re the one who set it up and you’re the one to make it stop.
What meant to be will always find a way.
I wish you could know how much I love those smile.
We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest.
And deal full many a thoughtless blow, to those who love us best.
Let’s let it be and see how it goes, we shall too move on.

Dumb Dumb

Knowing that my dad is in hardship but I just don’t seems to be doing any good in those papers.

Sad, guilt and fear

Guilt,
Surrounding me.
Fear,
Burst through me.
I could have done better.
I’m really sorry, my parents my friends my lecturers,
I’m sorry, my Lord.
I couldn’t explain the feeling I felt under my heart,
I’m shivering as I’m scared.
I’m guilty as I never try.
Is too late for me to realized,
Delightful conversation with you tonight,
Make me realized.
Set that as target take you as reflect.
Hoping to be better one night.
Is time to wake up from the days you just play play play and play.
Is time to be serious and chase back the days.
I’m sorry and I know I was wrong,
Please do not give up on me, have mercy on me, be there for me, support me, encourage me, help me, remind me, control me, tell me, explain to me, stay with me!

The making of success

I’ve exceeded my limit tonight. I’ve fully and efficiently utilized my resources.
Somehow, I’ve never see myself anything like now.
I just want to prove, I just want to let you know, that I can do so too.
I am trying to prove you wrong that what you’ve judge earlier was not the truth.
I’m also trying to show myself I’m not too bad.
I may not be good compared to the rest but what for comparing.
I am what I am, I am who I am.
I want to let you know that I can do it if I want to.
Is just the matter of whether I want to or I don’t.
I’ve never been this way,
But at this moment, I want to try my best.
May Lord continue to bless me, guide me and shine Your lights on me,
Amen.

Is the matter of time

Tonight a special night
Talking to my friends about you, about us
Wonder about all the things we’ve done together
Thought about all the words we’ve said to each other
Recalling about the comfort being together
The fairytale that we wondered
The love that we once embrace
I can’t put in plain words
Your name burst through all the walls I’d built
You melt a frozen heart tonight.
If fate happens to bring us along again.
Let’s see how it goes!
Love,
Love is so simple,
Isn’t it?
We meet, we‘re attracted, get to know and like each other,
And think we’ll always be together.
Follow your heart.

A little of spark

A gentle touch on the forehead,
A zealous kiss on the cheek,
Here is it, the ending
Question to questions,
Never end up getting an answer.
You own the trigger,
So what, you don’t own it towards the end
Never know but nothing less
The feeling under my skin
The words under my mind
But it all doesn’t matter now
Here is it, the ending.

new year

Is been so long and on new year day I hold the trigger,
and it ends at 12.00am 2nd January 2010..