brand new start

i walked over the dark, and now is a brighter day, a brand new start..
nice and fresh again, LOL... :)

i never thought of letting you go..

everyone is asking me the same question for the past two weeks, and i have thought bout this question for two weeks... the answer is, i never thought of letting you go..
i never thought of forgetting you, i am comfortable with you..
just that our label has change and that's all.. all the others will still be the same like last time..
this is my decision, i never thought of letting you go..

God bless..~

i need strength

and now,
may every sun raise and sunset gives me power to go through all the challenges and road blocks in my life..
may my family and friends gives me more of their love and support..

may i have the strength to go on,....

thank God...~

me and you

may every sun raise and sunset gives you power to bring down all yr challengers and go through every road blocks in yr life.. may yr days fill with laughter, joy and happiness..
wishing you all the best in everything..
'we' are over, come to the end..
from now on, is just 'me' and 'you'.., no longer 'we'...
you for me, me for you,.... is the past.....~
thanks for every happy moment you gave me, i totally appreciates..
i love you., my friend...

christmas day

12:00am....
is his birthday and is christmas..
was celebrating happily at kl..
something spoil the atmosphere, which is at 1:39am, i vomited in the sink...
eeeee, the sink is full of my breakfast, lunch and dinner..
rice, mutton, chocolate, limau ice etc... LOL..
after that i quickly went to bed hoping to be better the next day...
4:03am, woke up because i was hungry.. well, is 4 so i went back to sleep...
7:16am, i was really very hungry... :)
i went for brunch at 11something then went for a movie at 1pm..
it was a bored show, the interesting was during the movie i went to the toilet and vomit again..
hmmm, keep talking bout vomiting, forget bout presents...
we open our presents at 8 in the morning, is was great.....
after the movie i went back to my room, get some rest then wake up at 8 and go to the alley watching him bowling.. after that, CAKES...
hahax....
thats all la, lazy to type... hehe

it was a wonderful trip down to kl,..
i should stay another night... :)

merry christmas*

the true colour

... went breakfast with Pinky this morning then drive to the town to get something.. after that do some packing at home.. so many to bring until i have to bring two big bag, LOL..
hmm, in the evening..
someone make me realized how realistic are people nowadays..
give me a hundred before they left, izit a lot..?
nowadays things are not cheap.. i m alone at home and a lot of stuff i have to get it myself..
i went to get all the things i need for the national service.., i can't get everything i need as a hundred is not a lot.. i have a dad with me in kuantan now but every time i ask for money he will talk a lot eventually give me nothing..
last year of this season, my mum was busying buying my bro lots and lots and lots of stuff while my dad was busying my bro's college stuff, going to a few college for consultant..
at that time i am wondering will i get the same treat as him next year..
this year of this season, guess what.....
my mum is busying preparing their trip to Europe while my dad is busying nothing..
i understand i have to serve national service so i wouldn't be enrolling college so soon,
so i don't have to do preparation for it yet..
but what i get was, nothing....
i, i go road show for consultant on my own, i buy stuff on my own....
is that obvious..? what is going on here is, 'unfair'....
i m trying to say something here, but is kind of a family thing so won't say much..
i have no idea what is me to them, what is my position, what am i.......?
I've been asking myself all this for many years until i decide not to think about all this and live my own life.. all this is upsetting me..
every time it does hurt so bad that's why i rather being alone....
all this is not what i think, i see them felt them...
one day my mum went to a optical store to buy my brother contact lenses..;
today i went to a optical store to buy myself contact lenses...
last year my dad agreed my brother to go Taylor's for a level...;
this year my dad says 'NO' for me to go college...
my dad gave my brother a car and my brother's brother a car..;
my dad didn't give me a paper drawing car not even a toy car..
few years ago when we went to kuala lumpur, my dad bought 2 shirts that cost over rm500 for them..
this few little things is more than enough..
hmm, my family... this is my family..
oh, left out something... but this is okiex......
this February my step dad bought my sister a nitendo DS..;
this December my step dad bought her a PSP....
hmm, we celebrate Christmas every year...
guess what, i counted the presents under the tree...
the present under the tree is... more than 40...
lets see how many i have,..... FOUR.....
wow... well, Christmas is not about presents but from this once again we can see, 'what am i'...
what am i...?

-to be continue-

home alone

is a Sunday, went perlindung with my friends in the morning then breakfast..
in the afternoon, went colleges road show for consultant..
kinda drown here bcoz there is no June intake for SAM..
for now i totally have no idea what to do but i m figuring..
hm, he is sick today...
he don't feel comfortable, he vomited, he has headache, he feel weak..
he is back to kl for all stat from penang today..
you ahh, rest more drink more water k, get well soon..
so, thought of taking CAL but daddy says no....
don't mention the reasons la or else i seems pity.. LOL..
i really don't know what to take, hmm..
what i wanted doesn't get any support from anybody..
well, drowning....
that's all for today, will start packing for national service coming Sunday....