... went breakfast with Pinky this morning then drive to the town to get something.. after that do some packing at home.. so many to bring until i have to bring two big bag, LOL..
hmm, in the evening..
someone make me realized how realistic are people nowadays..
give me a hundred before they left, izit a lot..?
nowadays things are not cheap.. i m alone at home and a lot of stuff i have to get it myself..
i went to get all the things i need for the national service.., i can't get everything i need as a hundred is not a lot.. i have a dad with me in kuantan now but every time i ask for money he will talk a lot eventually give me nothing..
last year of this season, my mum was busying buying my bro lots and lots and lots of stuff while my dad was busying my bro's college stuff, going to a few college for consultant..
at that time i am wondering will i get the same treat as him next year..
this year of this season, guess what.....
my mum is busying preparing their trip to Europe while my dad is busying nothing..
i understand i have to serve national service so i wouldn't be enrolling college so soon,
so i don't have to do preparation for it yet..
but what i get was, nothing....
i, i go road show for consultant on my own, i buy stuff on my own....
is that obvious..? what is going on here is, 'unfair'....
i m trying to say something here, but is kind of a family thing so won't say much..
i have no idea what is me to them, what is my position, what am i.......?
I've been asking myself all this for many years until i decide not to think about all this and live my own life.. all this is upsetting me..
every time it does hurt so bad that's why i rather being alone....
all this is not what i think, i see them felt them...
one day my mum went to a optical store to buy my brother contact lenses..;
today i went to a optical store to buy myself contact lenses...
last year my dad agreed my brother to go Taylor's for a level...;
this year my dad says 'NO' for me to go college...
my dad gave my brother a car and my brother's brother a car..;
my dad didn't give me a paper drawing car not even a toy car..
few years ago when we went to kuala lumpur, my dad bought 2 shirts that cost over rm500 for them..
this few little things is more than enough..
hmm, my family... this is my family..
oh, left out something... but this is okiex......
this February my step dad bought my sister a nitendo DS..;
this December my step dad bought her a PSP....
hmm, we celebrate Christmas every year...
guess what, i counted the presents under the tree...
the present under the tree is... more than 40...
lets see how many i have,..... FOUR.....
wow... well, Christmas is not about presents but from this once again we can see, 'what am i'...
what am i...?
-to be continue-
