i am a SPM leaver, to further my studies, there is a lot of courses..
this is a big barrier that will lead you to a bright of dull future..
once u made a wrong decisions is hard for you to turn around and choose again.
my way ahead is like a piece of blank paper,
i have nothing in my mind of what, where and how to move on..
this is not simple when everything come together and need you to decide..
i am chosen to serve the national service as well..
i don't even have a rough idea on what course to take as there is too much and i am afraid that i can't pick up my studies in college..
my parents never realized the problems i m confront with..
they are just pushing me to a road that i don't know what is in front..
the way ahead is far and long, definitely not a easy road..
there's no shortcut..
they never listen to my inner scream,
they never know what i actually wanted,
they never understand my actual feeling,
they just do what they wanted...
son deserve college while they are deciding to put me in form6..
is not that i don't want to do form6 is just that i wanted to leave this place
where i always felt left out by everyone..
i totally hate this feeling..
their eldest son who is a sucker that did so many heartbroken things to them..
no matter what i do, what i say, what i want, what i think....,
never suits them never correct..
all this years, most of the time i m alone..
not that i like to be alone, just that whenever i am alone..
i won't felt left out and upset..
i rather be alone than being with the crowds where nobody sees me..
my inner scream...
my way ahead is definitely harder because i m doing this alone,
supporting myself with my decisions..
my decisions my words my thoughts never get support by anybody at home..
i have to be tough to make this through..
and i believe i can make it, give me some time to come out with a decision..
thanks for listening to my 'inner scream'..
