12:00am....
is his birthday and is christmas..
was celebrating happily at kl..
something spoil the atmosphere, which is at 1:39am, i vomited in the sink...
eeeee, the sink is full of my breakfast, lunch and dinner..
rice, mutton, chocolate, limau ice etc... LOL..
after that i quickly went to bed hoping to be better the next day...
4:03am, woke up because i was hungry.. well, is 4 so i went back to sleep...
7:16am, i was really very hungry... :)
i went for brunch at 11something then went for a movie at 1pm..
it was a bored show, the interesting was during the movie i went to the toilet and vomit again..
hmmm, keep talking bout vomiting, forget bout presents...
we open our presents at 8 in the morning, is was great.....
after the movie i went back to my room, get some rest then wake up at 8 and go to the alley watching him bowling.. after that, CAKES...
hahax....
thats all la, lazy to type... hehe
it was a wonderful trip down to kl,..
i should stay another night... :)
merry christmas*
Friday, December 26, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
the true colour
... went breakfast with Pinky this morning then drive to the town to get something.. after that do some packing at home.. so many to bring until i have to bring two big bag, LOL..
hmm, in the evening..
someone make me realized how realistic are people nowadays..
give me a hundred before they left, izit a lot..?
nowadays things are not cheap.. i m alone at home and a lot of stuff i have to get it myself..
i went to get all the things i need for the national service.., i can't get everything i need as a hundred is not a lot.. i have a dad with me in kuantan now but every time i ask for money he will talk a lot eventually give me nothing..
last year of this season, my mum was busying buying my bro lots and lots and lots of stuff while my dad was busying my bro's college stuff, going to a few college for consultant..
at that time i am wondering will i get the same treat as him next year..
this year of this season, guess what.....
my mum is busying preparing their trip to Europe while my dad is busying nothing..
i understand i have to serve national service so i wouldn't be enrolling college so soon,
so i don't have to do preparation for it yet..
but what i get was, nothing....
i, i go road show for consultant on my own, i buy stuff on my own....
is that obvious..? what is going on here is, 'unfair'....
i m trying to say something here, but is kind of a family thing so won't say much..
i have no idea what is me to them, what is my position, what am i.......?
I've been asking myself all this for many years until i decide not to think about all this and live my own life.. all this is upsetting me..
every time it does hurt so bad that's why i rather being alone....
all this is not what i think, i see them felt them...
one day my mum went to a optical store to buy my brother contact lenses..;
today i went to a optical store to buy myself contact lenses...
last year my dad agreed my brother to go Taylor's for a level...;
this year my dad says 'NO' for me to go college...
my dad gave my brother a car and my brother's brother a car..;
my dad didn't give me a paper drawing car not even a toy car..
few years ago when we went to kuala lumpur, my dad bought 2 shirts that cost over rm500 for them..
this few little things is more than enough..
hmm, my family... this is my family..
oh, left out something... but this is okiex......
this February my step dad bought my sister a nitendo DS..;
this December my step dad bought her a PSP....
hmm, we celebrate Christmas every year...
guess what, i counted the presents under the tree...
the present under the tree is... more than 40...
lets see how many i have,..... FOUR.....
wow... well, Christmas is not about presents but from this once again we can see, 'what am i'...
what am i...?
-to be continue-
hmm, in the evening..
someone make me realized how realistic are people nowadays..
give me a hundred before they left, izit a lot..?
nowadays things are not cheap.. i m alone at home and a lot of stuff i have to get it myself..
i went to get all the things i need for the national service.., i can't get everything i need as a hundred is not a lot.. i have a dad with me in kuantan now but every time i ask for money he will talk a lot eventually give me nothing..
last year of this season, my mum was busying buying my bro lots and lots and lots of stuff while my dad was busying my bro's college stuff, going to a few college for consultant..
at that time i am wondering will i get the same treat as him next year..
this year of this season, guess what.....
my mum is busying preparing their trip to Europe while my dad is busying nothing..
i understand i have to serve national service so i wouldn't be enrolling college so soon,
so i don't have to do preparation for it yet..
but what i get was, nothing....
i, i go road show for consultant on my own, i buy stuff on my own....
is that obvious..? what is going on here is, 'unfair'....
i m trying to say something here, but is kind of a family thing so won't say much..
i have no idea what is me to them, what is my position, what am i.......?
I've been asking myself all this for many years until i decide not to think about all this and live my own life.. all this is upsetting me..
every time it does hurt so bad that's why i rather being alone....
all this is not what i think, i see them felt them...
one day my mum went to a optical store to buy my brother contact lenses..;
today i went to a optical store to buy myself contact lenses...
last year my dad agreed my brother to go Taylor's for a level...;
this year my dad says 'NO' for me to go college...
my dad gave my brother a car and my brother's brother a car..;
my dad didn't give me a paper drawing car not even a toy car..
few years ago when we went to kuala lumpur, my dad bought 2 shirts that cost over rm500 for them..
this few little things is more than enough..
hmm, my family... this is my family..
oh, left out something... but this is okiex......
this February my step dad bought my sister a nitendo DS..;
this December my step dad bought her a PSP....
hmm, we celebrate Christmas every year...
guess what, i counted the presents under the tree...
the present under the tree is... more than 40...
lets see how many i have,..... FOUR.....
wow... well, Christmas is not about presents but from this once again we can see, 'what am i'...
what am i...?
-to be continue-
Sunday, December 21, 2008
home alone
is a Sunday, went perlindung with my friends in the morning then breakfast..
in the afternoon, went colleges road show for consultant..
kinda drown here bcoz there is no June intake for SAM..
for now i totally have no idea what to do but i m figuring..
hm, he is sick today...
he don't feel comfortable, he vomited, he has headache, he feel weak..
he is back to kl for all stat from penang today..
you ahh, rest more drink more water k, get well soon..
so, thought of taking CAL but daddy says no....
don't mention the reasons la or else i seems pity.. LOL..
i really don't know what to take, hmm..
what i wanted doesn't get any support from anybody..
well, drowning....
that's all for today, will start packing for national service coming Sunday....
in the afternoon, went colleges road show for consultant..
kinda drown here bcoz there is no June intake for SAM..
for now i totally have no idea what to do but i m figuring..
hm, he is sick today...
he don't feel comfortable, he vomited, he has headache, he feel weak..
he is back to kl for all stat from penang today..
you ahh, rest more drink more water k, get well soon..
so, thought of taking CAL but daddy says no....
don't mention the reasons la or else i seems pity.. LOL..
i really don't know what to take, hmm..
what i wanted doesn't get any support from anybody..
well, drowning....
that's all for today, will start packing for national service coming Sunday....
way ahead
i am a SPM leaver, to further my studies, there is a lot of courses..
this is a big barrier that will lead you to a bright of dull future..
once u made a wrong decisions is hard for you to turn around and choose again.
my way ahead is like a piece of blank paper,
i have nothing in my mind of what, where and how to move on..
this is not simple when everything come together and need you to decide..
i am chosen to serve the national service as well..
i don't even have a rough idea on what course to take as there is too much and i am afraid that i can't pick up my studies in college..
my parents never realized the problems i m confront with..
they are just pushing me to a road that i don't know what is in front..
the way ahead is far and long, definitely not a easy road..
there's no shortcut..
they never listen to my inner scream,
they never know what i actually wanted,
they never understand my actual feeling,
they just do what they wanted...
son deserve college while they are deciding to put me in form6..
is not that i don't want to do form6 is just that i wanted to leave this place
where i always felt left out by everyone..
i totally hate this feeling..
their eldest son who is a sucker that did so many heartbroken things to them..
no matter what i do, what i say, what i want, what i think....,
never suits them never correct..
all this years, most of the time i m alone..
not that i like to be alone, just that whenever i am alone..
i won't felt left out and upset..
i rather be alone than being with the crowds where nobody sees me..
my inner scream...
my way ahead is definitely harder because i m doing this alone,
supporting myself with my decisions..
my decisions my words my thoughts never get support by anybody at home..
i have to be tough to make this through..
and i believe i can make it, give me some time to come out with a decision..
thanks for listening to my 'inner scream'..
this is a big barrier that will lead you to a bright of dull future..
once u made a wrong decisions is hard for you to turn around and choose again.
my way ahead is like a piece of blank paper,
i have nothing in my mind of what, where and how to move on..
this is not simple when everything come together and need you to decide..
i am chosen to serve the national service as well..
i don't even have a rough idea on what course to take as there is too much and i am afraid that i can't pick up my studies in college..
my parents never realized the problems i m confront with..
they are just pushing me to a road that i don't know what is in front..
the way ahead is far and long, definitely not a easy road..
there's no shortcut..
they never listen to my inner scream,
they never know what i actually wanted,
they never understand my actual feeling,
they just do what they wanted...
son deserve college while they are deciding to put me in form6..
is not that i don't want to do form6 is just that i wanted to leave this place
where i always felt left out by everyone..
i totally hate this feeling..
their eldest son who is a sucker that did so many heartbroken things to them..
no matter what i do, what i say, what i want, what i think....,
never suits them never correct..
all this years, most of the time i m alone..
not that i like to be alone, just that whenever i am alone..
i won't felt left out and upset..
i rather be alone than being with the crowds where nobody sees me..
my inner scream...
my way ahead is definitely harder because i m doing this alone,
supporting myself with my decisions..
my decisions my words my thoughts never get support by anybody at home..
i have to be tough to make this through..
and i believe i can make it, give me some time to come out with a decision..
thanks for listening to my 'inner scream'..
psychological barrier
my dad have his dearly son while my mum have her lovely daughter..
who said so that priority goes to son while youngest deserve more attention..?
i personaly doubt this parents' theory..
this theory caused psychological barrier.
to all the parents, please do not have this theory in mind
son or daughter is equivalent..
who said so that priority goes to son while youngest deserve more attention..?
i personaly doubt this parents' theory..
this theory caused psychological barrier.
to all the parents, please do not have this theory in mind
son or daughter is equivalent..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)