what a week.

I m tired I m exhausted but somehow I just can't calm down my emotions I can't handle this frustration I can't sleep. All the stress that accumulates, somehow is killing me. All those restless nights, all those frustration, just never seems want to go away. I wish I may, I wish I can, I wish the world to stop right here, and let me sort things out, clear those thoughts, I wish I may, I wish I can, have a goodnight sleep. I wish I may, I wish I can, arise in a desire morning. My dictionary somehow lost the word- happy but build with stress and tensions. I m about to go crazy about to go insane about to go to hell. For Christ's sake, please., please let me go. Please set me free. Looking out the window trying so hard to tidy thoughts, but somehow it just doesn't seems to work so well. I need time I need rest in wonderland, I need comfort by the sweetest being, i need warmth being around a biggest hug. I need I need I need it so bad. I need a doctor if all this go on, as I already lost my mind. God bless me. I want to be just like the birds, flying around freely above the sky. I want to be just like a baby, being so pampered by everyone around. All I need all I want, is just words but nothing in reality. I want to go to a beach, with the strong sea breeze blowing on my skin, enjoy the nature of the world and have some fun.

break down in the inside

Starry starry night, sorrow shadow appear up at the starry starry sky. At this split second, I have no reason for myself but felt extremely empty extremely upset and exhausted. Sadness like fire burning in the heart. I hate to break down, nothing up ahead, out of middle of nowhere knowing I'm in trouble if this wheel stop rolling. For Christ's sake, help me keep me moving somehow. Never give me up, I made it this far without crying a single tear.

sudden touch

Looking at the rain drops falling onto the ground, just like the tears dripping deep in my heart. Feeling the wind blew and move with the trees, just like I can't stand up still anymore. I lost my soul and I lost my mind, once imagining myself fall from seventh floor. Just like the rainy days, sudden pouring rain and sudden sunny day. It seems that something has happend or has been happening is a problem that have to endure and is difficult to overcome. I m sitting here looking out the window, with an empty mind, loosing all my faith. I tried to talk I tried to scream but it just doesn't seems success. My hands going towards the cupboard door making so much noise just for the sake of letting it out. Never know but nothing less, the world is coming out so cold, so cold. Everything I try to say but no one listen anyway. Sadness like the water raining down on the ground everyday just like the monsoon season now. Things just come all together and I just can't help but stuggling so badly in the inside. I have no words to describe what and how I'm feeling but just that I don't feel right at all times. Jumping into the big pool make me feels so much better as I felt no stress no pressure. Looking at the rain fall, looking at the dull sky, feeling extremely empty, looking in the mirror feeling so pain and tired. Standing under the pouring rain looking up at the sky, I see myself so helpless far out there. I love the rain pouring on my skin I love the breeze blewing towards me. Maybe it's because I'm crazy maybe it's because I just can't. Dear keep me busy just keep me busy please, never allow me to stop down and start thinking as it will never end once it start. I know you care but I have nothing to say, as I really don't know what I'm going through and what is in my mind. Just keep a accompany keep me accompany, so much like a big brother and I will be better each and everyday. Is all about attitute isn't it? Sadness like the water raining down.

Just one word, stress!

Tiny thought

The collapsed feeling under my skin. There's that fallen heart feeling that rushed right through the moments where I should've been paying attention. Like an hourglass, eventually everything will hits the bottom, and all I can do, is just wait until someone comes around and turn it around. Life is simple, but is just not easy. Sometimes we have to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel. Sometimes we just have to go with, 'whatever happens, happens'. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. Do not be troubled about the future, for it is not yet come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful, that will be worth remembering. Words are just so easy to say but somehow, is just too hard to perform. People need people, and friends need friends. Just in knowing that someone cares and hold us close in their thoughts and prayers. But seems there is no such someone around. We rob ourselves of life's greatest need, when we lock up our heart, and I just did it. You trip me push me call my name on the street, I kept walking forward with my hands in a fist and words stuck in my mouth biting my lips closed. I never cry my eyes out almost never, for my mum and dad that I pull myself back into a piece. What is there so much to think of and so much to worry of? But I just can't help, things just appear in my mind and it keep me down. Forcing a smile on my face isn't that difficult anymore when I'm doing that always. Throwing all this back of my mind, there is happy moments spending time with you friends. You friends are those one who bring me back in line and not to make things complicated. I shall not lock up my heart and let you friends in yes I shall. I shall not look back and shall not look too far ahead when things now is not solve. Yes I shall. Whatever happens, happens. So lets call it a day and tomorrow is a fresh new wonderful start!

'm about to break down

My way ahead aren't clear at all that I couldn't see myself ahead..
I totally need some time to get things right and have a good rest..
Chemistry, economics and mathematics did bring me down at times..
I surrender.!
Difficulties.!!
There are two ways of meeting difficulties.
You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them.
To love what you do and feel that it matters—how could anything be more fun?
Failure, failure is an event, never a person.
Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker.
Failure is delay, not defeat.
It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.

" easy to say difficult to do "

* You will never fail if you never give up *

Is all about the mind

If you want something you never had, you have to do something you had never done.!

Meet everything as a challenge, out of difficulties, make miracle..

Is your task, you have to complete it, is compulsory..

If is not you, then who?

If is not now, then when?

Don't ever allowed anything to keep you down,

never give up before you really try hard..

Just do it

Prove that you can,

You are untapped with potentials!

Stop complaining, and start solving it..

We can aspire to anything,

but we don't get it just because we want it,

I would rather spend my life close to the birds,

then waste it wishing I had wings!

Never let go never give up,

write them in your heart,

set them in your mind!

Let Him in,

and try together...

God bless!

is a sin

I awake to a wonderful day and I never allow any black spot on this wonderful day.
Is a sin, I'm so sorry, I felt bad, I felt guilty, I felt sinful...
I never ever want this to happen again, I promised, that I will try, I will..
I'm trying, trying and trying.
I'm sorry, my Lord, my parents, all my loved, I'm sorry!
I dare not to pray for the Lord to bless me, I dare not.
I'm such a devil, a sinful devil.
please forgive me~

Put on a happy face, today is a wonderful day!

Count your blessings, happiness is more likely to come from accepting what you have rather than trying to change what you have. Gratitude! Don't live for yourself alone, in order to be truly happy, you must stand for something larger than yourself. As life is a reciprocal exchange. To move forward you have to give back. To me, that is the greatest lesson of life, the secret is, 8hours of sleep, 8hours of work and 8hours of fun. Don't play the blame game, is not fun neither interesting. Condemnation is a happiness robber! Always be yourself when no one else can compared to the integrity of your own heart. Keep looking forward to the future to all you might be. Don't let old mistake or misfortune hold you down people! Forgive yourself and of course the others, then move on. Do not bothered or discourage by adversity, instead meet it as a challenge. Learn something new each day, be interested in others and what they might teach you but do not look for yourself in other people's approval. As far as who you are, and who you will become goes. The answer is within yourself, believe in yourself..! Believe in yourself and all you want to be. Don't let what other people say or do make you frown. Laugh as much as possible, let in the good times and get through the bad. Be happy with who you are and where you are, you are in the right place and your heart is leading you on the way to a great tomorrow! When the circumstances seem difficult, pull through them, this will make you stronger than you think!

TAKE THIS!

smile : )