Heartbreaking

Father, look at me please.

Is heartbreaking, for always being the last for everything, every time.

I never expect anything more, but I really can bear no more.

I cried a tear, I was confused.

Please give me the strength, to stand alone again. To face the world, out on my own again.

I needed it, so much. And I can’t believe it’s true. I needed it.

I’ll never live what should I feel, and I never find someone who really care.

Please held my hand, when is cold; when I am lost.

Please take me home and give me love, when I am empty; and turn my light back into truth again.

Tell me now, how do I…..

Dream

Dream,

I want to travel around the world, to see every corner.

I want to look at the same sky from different places.

I want to meet all people with different cultures and different background.

Dream,

I want to jump off from the world tallest bungee jump in Macau.

I want to ride the world toughest rodeo.

I want to witness the world heritage.

The rainforest, the desert, the cave and etc.

I want to taste all food along the way.

I want to take millions of photos wherever I go.

Everything everywhere.

My first trip outside of Malaysia was in 1997, I went to Beijing, China to see the Great Wall of China. Followed by Pattaya and Phuket, Thailand; Batam, Indonesia. Then I’ve been to London, too see the tower of London, eye of London, and the big Ben. I’ve been to Glasgow, Scotland for the third time. I’ve visited Melbourne, Australia, the Great Ocean Road and the Philip Island. Recently I’ve visited Hong Kong and Macau.

Dream.

Unspoken words

Today’s sky seems too blue, clouds seem too white and the sun seems too bright.

When I smile to you, it doesn’t mean that I am all fine.

I pick it up after dropping it down, I drop it down after picking it up, and then I pick it up again.

I restore it after deleting it, I delete it after restoring it, and then I restore it again.

My world, you don’t bother; your world, I am not allowed. But somehow, I am still holding a hope.

I am holding a dream, since ever; till ever.

I am afraid of the answer therefore I am afraid to ask.

I am afraid of the fact therefore I am afraid to stop running.

How I wish you could know, there is so much words left unspoken,

How I wish you could know, there is so much more left undone.

How I wish you could know.

How I wish you could……

Listen

Put my ear down close to my soul and listen hard.

When I do things from my soul I feel a river moving in me, a joy. When action come from another section, the feeling disappear. Upturned towards the sun, eyes closed. That color and warmth I see and feel is the soul on fire. If only it remained when again my eyes opened. Soul shadows us everywhere; soul is a force that light up a town.

Worry ducks when purpose flies overhead.

Empty, strike out across the field.

Comfort, leave me behind.

Pressure and tired knock on my door.

I am searching, discovering the wonderful.

Patience. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in my heart. What I am running from, to and why. I shall not seek for the answer which cannot be given me because I would not be able to live them. Perhaps, I might find them gradually without noticing it and live along some distant day into the answer.

I wish to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I am afraid of thinking. But when your heart speak and whisper, do take good notes.

Time doesn't stop for anyone, and we move on as seconds passes by.

If you aren’t sure what you’re doing, you might as well work on what you want to do.

I wish I could be closer, to the sky with twinkling stars.

I wish I could live in the room where I awake to the crack of dawn, the balcony where I can witness the nightfall.

I wish I could walk with my dear one along the beach, the fine sand the sea breeze the crystal clear sea.

I wish i could go around the world with my sweetheart to witness all the wonderful scenery.

I wish I could sit by the bay leaning on my dearest's chest.

I wish I could have my loved one by my side to hold me tight; to pampered me; to walk with me; to stay with me; to love and care for me.

Sometime somewhere somehow, I need a shoulder.

Adorable.