The Truth

原来所有的东西都不是真的，会有那样的安排只不过是因为他们看了这个网页...我还是以前不被看见被遗留的人...我懂我从头到尾的地位,我有自知之明，读书不好,样样都没有很出色..还有，我没有隐私叻，连这个能让我说话的地方都被他们拿来读，还讽刺我, 取笑我，把内容当笑话... 有时我不吭声不代表我不介意...我的看法我的决定从来就没有得到他们的支持与鼓励，他们永远只在乎他们自己的看法而忽劣了我的真正需要...很没用吧..？到了现在我很难得有了一个自己做决定的机会，但我根本不懂要如何选择如何前进...我的提议都不被接受，反正他们就要我跟他们就是了...那么一点点的支持都不给我...我本身做什么事都没有信心，很多时候都靠胆...前面的路太黑暗了，我看不清也不会走...真希望我能有一盏灯，带我走向对的道路... 我是个怎样的人有着怎样的未来，我不懂...但希望我能创造一个美满幸福，成功快乐的未来给自己...

national service

She is cikgu Huda, my another dorm's warden... She is only 22 years old.., i am kinda close to her, just like friends.. She is like a kid, likes to play tongue, LOL... Is too much to say about her, and i m kinda lazy, so,,...

national service

She is cikgu Hasliza, my dorm's warden.. She is very pretty, she has thick eye browns, thick and sexy lips, very deep dimple and very fair skin colour.. She seldom mix around with the crowds, she enjoy sitting alone but she is close to out TKJ, cikgu adek.. She is very a straight jurulatih, she always asked me to keep the dorm as clean as possible.. She says if our dorm gets complain, she will look for me,. I am asked to her room twice because the muslims in my dorm did not go for their prayers.. She is really a straight teacher.. However, she is very polite and caring.. Hmm, her body is a little weak as she is pregnant for 3months, her husband is a tentera laut in Perak.. She always not feeling so well and rest in her room.. She is one of the netball team coach.. Her smile is sweet as she has deep dimple, she is a little special.. She seldom laugh, she only smile.. I tired very hard trying to make her laugh with very funny jokes, but i only succeeded once.. She somehow makes me feel warm and belong.. She is very very 'mesra'.. I always look at her whenever she is around because i wanted to see her dimple, LOL.. She looks cute when she do TTS, she corrects me when i do wrongly., is funny the way she show me.. Wishing her all the best and healthy always, best wishes to her coming baby..

national service

This is cikgu Nurul Shafinas, my jurulatih in camp Semarak, Pekan.. This photo is taken during wirajaya, in the 'jungle' doing pondok sehari.. She is a very nice. polite and kind teacher who has a romantic and sweet husband.. LOL~ She likes to smile.. Still remember all the moments we did all the task given together, she is always helpful yet responsible.. She is a new jurulatih in the camp, she is very quiet and passive.. She is very cute and funny sometimes.. We used to play tickle and chat when we have free time.. She is always holding her phone during her rest hour, she has lots of photos in her phone, she loves taking pictures, she enjoy messaging and her sense of romance is overflow.. Her dearly husband send her to work every morning at 6 and pick her up every evening at 6:30., they drive a myvi white in colour.. She is a brilliant teacher..

'''''stuck'''''

since I've completed national service, I've to move on to my next step, which is very difficult to decide.. This is really very tough for me as i really don't know what i afford to do., i get no supports from families but only from my respective coaches.. my coaches gives me a lot of ideas but i still can't find my way out.. no matter what i consider bout, i get no support which makes me afraid to step forward, I'm afraid that i might walk the wrong step that cause accident happens.. My mind is a total blank cause i always get objections.. i really don't know what else can i do as i already lost the rest of my confidence, i have no more strength to build up, please give me a break.! as life goes on, i realized i did NOTHING well.. I love challenges.., curiosity.. what can i do...? # may God lead me to a correct path, Amen.. i am really tired of all this, i just want my life to be simple, families, at least give me some support instead of beating me down n drown the rest of my confidence yet strength.. Please give me some air, find me a window that allows me to get some fresh air, thank you very much....

"hope everything will be just fine and I've made the right choice"

little commens

13 March:
being in love conjures images of happiness, devotion, tenderness and an undying desire to be with someone forever. it dots our life with memories of people, places and moments.. it takes us as high as we could possibly go on the wings of emotion and drops us to the every depths of despair when it is heart wrenching taken from us.. we feel as though our heart shatters into a thousand pieces and then we very possibly fall in love again..remember those special moments when we were falling in loves, or being in love? these moments sing to us.. they fill us up till we overflow.. we get intoxicated~ you smile for no reason, you feel as though you are fleeting, the breeze carries your face; the sunshine warms you.. being near, you can hear yourself better when you rest your head on the shoulder, you hear your heartbeat and all the beats its skipped. going out for every meals is heavenly, the foods somehow taste better, the restaurant more romantic, even the waiter don't seems so annoying.. you get lost when you look at him, you can't seems to turn away, NO, you don't want to turn away, you like looking at him.. we laugh at the jokes aren't funny we'd laugh at how not funny they are.. laughter is effortless, you remember feeling comfortable with him, yet at the same time feeling embarrassed and shy..

tomorrow is a new day

12th March:
at times, things aren't the way u hope it would be, and that's the time u have to tell yourself things will be better, no one says is easy, but take each step forward as a challenge, learn from difficulties, grow in courage.. keep believing in yourself, stay focus on what and how u want your life to be.. challenges are part of life's journey which will only kead u closer to what u dream to have and be..

"things will be better. life goes on"
"she who loses faith, loses ALL"

#may every sunrise and sunset gives me power and strength to go through every challenge and road blocks in my life, Amen...